A very politically correct holiday Deep Thought by Derek
Hello all, I know it’s customary for me to come on here and say something offensive. But it’s Christmas for pete’s sake. Just think of the poor baby Jesus up in his tower waiting to let his hair down so that the three wise men could climb up and spin the dreidel to see if there was six more weeks of winter.
So I may or may not be informed as to what one would consider normal traditions. So let me educate you on my Favorited Yule tide habits. Every year I kick off Christmas break by taking extra time off of work to see family, and telling my family that I don’t have any time off work. This leaves me ample time to put up my krampus pole and dance for hoe-liday dollars. My egg-nog and grain alcohol fueled rampage usually lasts right until the big finale that is new years eve. Which is by the way, the most anti climatic night of the year that I just can’t wait for ! That’s when my inner philanthropist really shines, and I just can’t help but do charity work. Last year I even let Bob Saget grind on me during a slow dance.
These are traditions that are near and dear to my heart, that I have been partaking in since I was a wee child. I hope to hear about all of your holiday traditions out there!
Feliz Navidad, Bitches
*And now, for the the most perfect of greetings card that you will bestow upon your eyes, and yes, you may print it out and put it on top of all those awful one's you get from your awkward purposefully distant friends and family. You know, those super uncomfortable holiday photos that you are socially obligated to plaster onto your fridge, as a constant reminder of what your life could be had you not chosen tequila over Jesus. You're welcome.
*Cliptomania in no way supports or shares the views and opinions of Derek Capulet. In fact, we donate A LOT of money to non-profit counselors to help those with low self-esteem caused by Derek. We also pray twice as hard to make sure he doesn’t burst into flames mid client and is able to finish his work without burning the shop down.